The Ghats of Vrindavan.

The Ghats of Vrindavan.

Kassi Ghat, Chir Ghat, & many others.

 From the other side of the City, on the road getting the Delhi janta to the Angrezon wala temple- getting a commute to the original side of the city is a tough task indeed!! Not many go there anyways!!

So, we found two seats in the shared Auto Rikshaw ride, along with some saintly wide eyed types!! & then asked the driver if he could take us to the ghats!! Odd request indeed!!-) & that too when we asked him to be hired all by us & for the journey back too!! Yes, he could do it & would show us around too!! 

& the walk ( drive in partial!!) began as soon as he could drop off the other occupants of the rickshaw!! Passing through the new layer of opulent temple  & ashrams, in architectural style that competed with each other & all others, the ride circumvented the now usual visting temples of the city- the bankey bihari & the angrezon ka temple.Companionship be established- he told us how “Bankey bihari ji” took care of all of vrindavanites, & so honesty was easy to come for them!! 

The first stop was the magnificent red sandstone temple of Madan Mohan- elder to Lord Krishna & the arbitrator of all litigations!! This, he told us, was the main temple of vrindavan- once upon a time!! & right next to it was the original route to the Bankey Bihari ji!! Alas, no one takes it now- since they come by road from Delhi!! – as against the boat by the Yamuna river? Yes!! Ah- he proudly tells us now- he is a local!! & then passing by bumpy stretches of river front architecture , truncated from the river by a new road in between, we stop to take the walk to the kassi Ghat!!Of course there was the Chir ghat in the Ghat on the way- where Krishna used to steal the Clothes off the gopis in the river- & yes that was the tree where he used to take them on!! A tree that old?!! Yes, of course- he told us!! Well, a lone tree on a desolate & truncated Ghat- we better believe his belief!! 

Ah, & the river next to the walk!! Krishna ki pyari- Yamuna!! A thousand boats moored & countless rituals around- we reached the Kassi Ghat!! & You go to see it you want to see public architecture to a river front!! Sublime sandstones, facing the  temples, havelis, ashrams etc. etc. in the Rajashtani Rajput style, mixed just enough with inspirations from Bengal!! The standing Chatris in desolation, the unscathed moorings in stone extending to the river & the very public continuity through all of these!! Keep walking!!-)

The Ghats are not desolate really!! There are the wanderers & the monkeys!! The wanderers are most possibly those who have left their homes & the monkeys are local!! BTW, our guide informs us- there is no dearth of food in vrindavan- what with the no. of Bhandaras being held everywhere!! – One reason why so many wanderers stay here!! & the Ghats aren’t really so desolate!! River Aarti is done everyday & the locals from the region come in nos for river rituals!! & there is even an lawyer from Delhi ( vakil sab) who has bought some property on the river front & is renovating it!! 

Sit down & experience it!!

But we have to be back!! 

Quick walk back- stories of the ghat where Krishna  slayed the river serpent & many others!! We are back in the Ricksahw!! He wants to take us to more of the inner city- but we settle for next time!! & then he suddenly tells us that he is a Muslim!! That all Auto wallhs in vrindavan are muslims!! What?!! Then the bankey Bihari kripa?!! Of course, it is there for all- he says!! He sees no problem with that!! BTW, he tells us, there is a dragah right next to the temple!! Once upon a time, according to him, it had more prominence!! & now the temple has!!  How could I have missed this?!! Well- the crowds- he guesses!!

& then there is anyways Mosques in Mathura where they go to!! & can eat non vegetarian food there!! It is all Bankey Bihari ki Kripa!!

Ah!! Wish we had more time!! Next time

  

Where have all the Men gone?!! ( to women who may be wondering!!)

Where have all the Men gone?!!

The truth, my dear, is that there are no men around. Not at least in the known sense of the way. There are boys who have grown their whiskers and have figured ways to make a living- some better than the others- but they have not grown enough to take their place in the sun!! Can't blame them either- it's a change of world order!! The age when we understood men to be equivalent of a unit of a society- a Jana - is over. Blame anything for it- including the empowerment of women - or an older order that defined men in terms of a center of definitions - has changed due to the emerging economic order!! 

So who are these boys?! Born males, but trying to make themselves relevant- by their earning capabilities, extra "education" or " knowledge"- or just some other Privilege of the last order!! 

By definition, a male is to be an alpha- or at least in the process of becoming one!! Now- that is not possible in times, as we know!! Maybe that's why so many of some are taking the path of being victims!! -) add to that a list of confirmations added by the cosmetic industry- and you have the metro males confirming to a new stereotype every season- the only common being among them is the total absence of any "alpha" content!! 

However, dears, I have hope for you!! You are that rare breed of women who is looking for an alpha male!! One who doesn't want to exemplify himself by his jokes, salary slip or bicep power!! These were never the alpha!! The real ones were always who led the crowd- Bcs they, foolishly, believed - that were right!!! They carried their women, children, fade outs, and all others to safety!! (Notice that only ones who may qualify to be close to these are generally a few politicians!!-)

Now, I look around me, and find none like these!! It is true that i look around for people I d like you, the empowered women, to partner with!! (there is nothing 'gory' to that/) - but I have found none- zilch, zero, shunya!! 

The truth , maybe, is that I dont see you coupled!! Except for the fact that you need to have children and maybe that you want to qualify to that league!! 

Probably Bcs you are- an alpha fe- male!! 

But, give yourself time and you d find one!! After all, you need but one!!-)

Ladies- what’s a right time to get married!!

Ladies- what’s a right time to get married!!

Well, the answer, to be politically (and a thousand other lly) correct should be- whichever is the time you think you should!! But, but , but- That would mean- nothing!! So, there is a theory- rather a research from understandings- from seeing & knowing!! So, believe it or not, there is ( or ‘are’) right times to get married!!

Of course, there are assumptions in the hypothesis, that include your being an urban Indian, sufficiently empowered, straight, etc. etc., but lets say we are talking about the majority of those who can read this!! Yes, of course, there is a sample survey to back the theory ( and since it consists of friends, please do not ask for details!!) !! & yes, there are possibilities of error- given the complex nature of the research!!

Have it straight. The Magic no,s are- 21, 27, 31, 37, 47, 57!! Of course the no.s refer to age of the ladies (girls or women if you may please!) . Now, for those who see a pattern in the no.s – well, its not intended!! The no.s are chosen by research & understanding & any mathematical pattern to them would be totally a time pass of those who do time pass!!  While a suitable variation to the exactness of the no.s may be possible, we affirm by their general representative correctness!!

So 21!! Wrong for all & right for none!! Unless, you are part of those urban families who are here by accident of their works & have not had the chance to develop their attitudes enough to believe in educating the women in the family!! Or themselves- out of the traditions of the yore!! But, well, what the heck- you are on the right side of the law & are joining the same set of family ideas on your married side!! & yes, there is  value in the systems of the old- your children would be married by the time you are in your youth- and then you d have all the time in the world to have fun- away from your responsibilities!! No kidding, there is logic in this!! & what the heck, this age type certainly makes the marriage institution works on its foundations!!

Ah, 27!! You come from the Urban liberated mindset!! Your patents mindset at least!! Those who have let you study- maybe even professional studies & now that you have joined a path of career- you may want to “ settle down”!! Well, its difficult to find flaws with theorem- especially since all the “correct” boys ( defined by those who have taken their career paths & are sizably the largest chunk of marriageable stock) are now available!! Oh, heck, so what if you haven’t travelled enough and have just begun to enjoy the benefits of your efforts at getting a carrear path etc!! The “children in time” mega benefit still works & the biological twelve o clock is still away!! Well, in my ratings its still B-, but lets have it, at least you ve gone through a college life & have a profession to play with!! On a flip side- most urban divorces happen in this direction!!

31 is my A+ !! Well, by the law of averages of many benefits, that is!! I mean, you ve entered your place in the work life, been there done that, have still time to reproduce ( thanks to medical science) & yes, there are still some decent boys left at your work place, mothers friends sons who went to the US & that lone guy who is the dude who may decide you are the right one to get married to- even if he is still under thirty five!! Ye!! & maybe you are the coupling type- who is now getting sick of having a empty PG to come back too & are tired of answering the relatives as to why not!! Apprehensions on your straightness don’t bother you, but , lets have it, you don’t get as many social invites as you may get when married!! What the heck, there are hardly any single friends left & the parents have given up on you anyways!! Well, the good side is that you have a bank balance & you know the path your career is taking!! & Frankly, there are no good enough Indian men left to date!! & we know the problem of sitting alone at a Bar!! The A+ works since you d escape the economic grind of putting up a house (of course you have a balance & credit limit now!!) and generally have lived enough to get through the emotional hang-up’s of marriage!!

The real star is 37!! So, all the wrong reasons for marriage have been obliterated by now- the ones like marriage for social conventions, having babies in time, juvenile crushes etc. etc. & Lets say by now you are fast becoming the person you are meant to be- personally & professionally!! Of course, there are Men around!! & luckily the boys have been sieved out!! Ye!! & to join their ranks are the good ones who had gotten in too soon & have found their way out!! Believe me, verily, this will be a marriage of equals, choice & intention!! Both of you will get the good baggage to the stables!! On any doubts that you may have about other issues, you don’t know where medical science has reached!!

& if you miss the above!! Of course you have reasons to!! Maybe you are just not the coupling kinds!! & then, there is suddenly this lull in the market, as well as numbness in your self!! But, wait for 47!! Ah, things will come back- including good new reasons to get married!! Like a prudent understanding of the benefits of sharing a house, a male companions for various reasons (including entering parties with!!), a staring situation of being alone when ill, etc. etc. Of course, the choices are limited- but so are the expectations!! Go on, there are some amongst the males who are like you too!!

& then, what the heck!! Its been a good life & there has to be more to it!! So, by you are 57, you do know marriage is more than kids, economics, chores, society etc. It is about companionship!! Yes!! Who wants to die a spinster!! I mean, in the status way!! You may move into separate bedrooms, but isn’t that a wonderful way to sleep!! & By now, who rally cares!! The study suggests that you have eclectic choices in the market availability at this stage. Of real Men, or maybe unreal ones too!! Those who have reached here for convictions at work or society!! Add to them the good ones divorced, or widowed- & you d get enough to choose from!! & Since the marriage is not going to make much difference to you anyways, there are only good things that you can look unto!!

Now, the above is generic enough, but I hope it helps!! There are reasons to believe that age in between these no.s have great potential of confusion & choice!! So, go on- pick your time!!